Jan 2025
Domestic violence – Breaking the Silence
Domestic violence – Breaking the Silence
By Lopa Jhamb, Licensed Sr. DV Advocate – Saheli Boston
Domestic violence (DV) within South Asian families is a deeply rooted issue, often exacerbated by cultural stigma, societal expectations, and the challenges of navigating life in a foreign country. As a domestic violence advocate at Saheli, I have witnessed countless stories of resilience, courage, and hope. Survivors often share their struggles and their triumphs, making it clear that the first step—breaking the silence—is the hardest but also the most transformative, says Lopa Jhamb, Sr. DV advocate at Saheli since 2020.
Breaking the Silence – HOW?
Imagine a young woman, hesitant and fearful, picking up the phone to call Saheli for the first time. For South Asian women, breaking the silence about abuse feels like standing on the edge of a cliff. Cultural values, such as preserving family honor or avoiding judgment from the community, weigh heavily on their shoulders. At Saheli, we assure them from the very beginning that all our services are confidential and free of charge. Survivors are informed of this as soon as they connect with us, giving them the reassurance they need to take the next step.
Each story begins with trust. When a survivor shares her experience, she is not only seeking help but also taking a leap of faith. It’s a monumental step in a journey toward safety and healing—and Saheli Boston is honored to walk with her.
Navigating Life in a Foreign Country
For many survivors, the trauma of abuse is compounded by the challenges of navigating an unfamiliar system in a foreign country. They must rebuild their lives while grappling with questions that seem overwhelming: How do I protect myself and my children? What legal rights do I have? How will I support my family financially? The unknowns can feel paralyzing, but that’s when Saheli’s advocates step in.
Tailored Support for Survivors
Saheli’s organizational approach is personal and compassionate. They start by understanding each survivor’s unique circumstances, then offer tailored assistance to meet their specific needs. Here’s how they help:
- Legal Assistance: Saheli guides survivors through the legal process, helping them obtain restraining orders, file for divorce, secure child custody, and establish child support. They provide immigration assistance, including applications for U visas and VAWA petitions. They assist in creating profiles with the Department of Revenue to ensure seamless child support payments.
- Mental Health Support: Saheli connects survivors with culturally sensitive therapists for one-on-one sessions and encourage them to join support groups. These avenues provide emotional healing and a sense of community.
- Access to Public Benefits: Many survivors don’t know where to begin when it comes to securing benefits. Saheli assists with applications for SNAP (food stamps), MassHealth, WIC for infants and toddlers, and other essential programs.
- Economic Empowerment: Saheli empowers survivors to become financially independent by helping them build resumes, apply for jobs, and gain essential skills.
- Housing Assistance: Whether it’s rent assistance, placement in shelters, or transitional homes, we help survivors find safe and stable housing.
- Tax Clinics: Saheli offers free tax clinics to assist low-income survivors with filing their taxes, providing them with financial clarity and security.
- The Path to Healing: Healing is not linear, nor is it quick. Survivors often describe it as a journey filled with setbacks and small victories. Saheli emphasizes patience, self-care, and community support. Their advocates walk alongside survivors, helping them navigate their emotions and practical challenges as they work toward a brighter future for themselves and their children.
Article by Lopa Jhamb
12/20/2024
Foot Note from IAGB:
IAGB stands tall against this menace and urges the community for its Call to Action
Domestic violence is not just a personal issue but a community one. By breaking the silence and addressing the trauma survivors face, we foster a culture of support, understanding, and resilience. Together, we can ensure that survivors feel seen, heard, and valued.
Let us continue to stand united against domestic violence in South Asian families, creating a future where no survivor must face abuse or its aftermath alone. Let us join hands to witness the emergence of a new generation of Indian women, driven by education, economic empowerment, and a determination to challenge societal norms.
Through trials hard and battles deep, in silence, women, you have dared to speak.
The world may turn, yet with you stand, together strong, hand in hand.
Mission Shakti – Call for Equity & Justice!
Community Spotlight
Community Spotlight: Dr. Sonali Khond
Dr. Sonali Khond, MD, is a dedicated internist with over 20 years of experience serving the South Shore area. She also serves as the President of the Indian Medical Association of New England (IMANE), a non-profit organization. Dr. Khond has been part of the Executive Committee since 2019 and has played an active role in IMANE’s initiatives over the past few years.
Under her leadership, IMANE partnered with local non-profits like IAGB to provide free blood pressure and blood sugar screenings, offering essential health services to the community. She was instrumental in launching a formal volunteer program for high school students, encouraging youth participation in healthcare outreach. IMANE also hosted a Continuing Medical Education (CME) event, furthering professional development for healthcare providers.
With physician burnout on the rise, it’s important to engage in more social activities to promote wellness and connection within the community. Dr. Khond organized the IMANE cultural event, a way for members to come together, celebrate their heritage, and offer physicians a much-needed break from the pressures of practice.
As IMANE President, she has guided the organization in expanding its charitable work, supporting local non-profits, including IAGB. Her leadership extended beyond healthcare, helping strengthen IMANE’s presence in the community.
In 2024, Dr. Khond was crowned Mrs. Elite by Miss New England, a pageant organization. She was honored with the Inspiring Healthcare Award by Breathing Secrets, a non-profit organization, recognizing her outstanding contributions to healthcare and community service.
Beyond her professional achievements, Dr. Khond enjoys dancing, traveling, and actively participating in community events, reflecting her multifaceted approach to life and service. She remains committed to serving her community and inspiring her peers, with a continued focus on making a lasting impact on healthcare and beyond.
IAGB has always had a strong bond with IMANE in serving the community together, supporting and pledging for each other. IAGB celebrates Dr. Sonali Khond for her commitment to promote healthy lifestyle, forming partnerships with local organizations for community health activities, fostering social connections & networking, addressing physician burnout, showcasing talents through cultural events.
“In her successful term as the President of IMANE, Sonali has represented the ethos of IMANE with utmost competency and diligence. She is one person who is warm, friendly, conscientious, committed and easy to work with. I wish my dear Sonali, the very best in all new endeavors she takes on from here on”, says IAGB President Tanu Phoenix.
Community Conversations
Sushila Singh:
I live in Carlisle, a small town in Massachusetts, population of about 5200 residents. I have been living here for the past 10 years. When I first moved in I was looking for Indian families to celebrate Diwali. It started with sending email to 5 families but ended up 35 families responding. As a result I, with the help of two of my friends, rented a hall in a restaurant and had a big celebration. The tradition continues for 10 years and now we are planning to include everyone in the town to make it bigger.
Shweta and Santosh Salvi:
Volunteering: A Joyful Journey
During November 2020, as the NEMM presidency term was nearing its end, my life partner, Sandhya/Shweta, and I decided to sponsor a dinner at the Nashua Soup Kitchen (NSK) to celebrate Diwali. We not only sponsored dinner on a Friday but also took part in serving the meals. This experience was so fulfilling that we decided to sponsor another dinner during the Christmas holidays.
Our joy in this endeavor inspired us to share our experiences with family and friends. In doing so, we discovered that 10-12 families were also interested in supporting the community by preparing and serving dinners at NSK.
In the first week of January 2021, we approached NSK, and they graciously allowed us to prepare and serve dinner every Thursday. Over the past four years, we have collectively served over 20,000+ dinners to 100-120 homeless Nashua residents. Our project has grown to include 48+ families, divided into four groups led by Santosh Salvi, Meenakshi Shinde, Radha Phadke, and Rajeev Agarwal. This way, each group serves once a month, and each volunteer will contribute/cook/serve once in a month. Our volunteer families are highly motivated and fulfill their commitments without any reminders, coordinating purely through text messages.
Most of our volunteer families live in the Maplewood community, so we have named our group the “Maplewood Volunteer Group.”
Meenal Dayma:
My resolutions for 2025 towards my community are to continue to teach at Shishubharti. Educate children to develop a sense of well-informed cultural pride by introducing them to Indian arts, customs, languages, religion, history, geography, and current events, one hour every Sunday.
Organize activities such as cultural performances, arts and crafts exhibition with the students.
Since last 14 years, I have been exploring the hidden talents in the children and promoting them. It has been a cherishing and learning experience of mentoring more than 150 children.
Manjiri Patil:
The New Year is always an inspiring time. As part of your New Year’s resolutions, I want to give back to our community.
Dignity Matters is a Massachusetts-based non-profit organization dedicated to addressing period poverty by providing free menstrual products. I have been volunteering at their warehouse to help with product distribution. Also involved with organizing a collection in neighborhood, friends and families.
Another initiative is the monthly donation for Worcester homeless Shelter. We work as a group to donate homemade food and fruits to homeless shelters.
While the donation of food or items is always appreciated, a financial donation can also provide a charity or cause. Me along with three other friends are doing yearly fundraisers to donate money to India (Pune) based charity named Snehwan which takes responsibility for the education, rehabilitation of the underprivileged children of the farmers.
There are countless ways you can make true your new year’s resolutions to give back to the community this year. Consider creating an impact on society by donating or doing something for a good cause.