Last Monday of every year, The United States of America marks Memorial Day. The entire country honors the memory of all the great souls who gave the ultimate sacrifice in defense of freedom while serving in armed forces – Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, Space Force, and Coast Guard.
The tradition of Memorial Day has roots starting after the end of Civil war. Originally this day was known as the Decoration Day. This day became a federal holiday starting in 1917.
America’s Civil War of 1860s had claimed the greatest number of lives of all conflicts in U.S. history. While communities started organizing memorial gatherings during the Spring of every year, officially the federal government recognized Waterloo, New York as the birthplace of Memorial Day in 1966. On May 5th, 1866, Waterloo started an annual event when all businesses where closed and residents decorated the graves of soldiers with flowers and flags.
After World War I Decoration Day evolved into Memorial Day, to commemorate American Military personnel who died in all wars. Since then, America has been in the theater of war in World War II, the Vietnam War, The Korean War and more recently in Afghanistan and Iraq and few others.
In 1968, Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which established Memorial Day as the last Monday in May in order to create a three-day weekend for federal employees. The change went into effect in 1971. The same law also declared Memorial Day a federal holiday.
Everyone probably associates the 24-note tune distinctive bugle melody with Memorial Day Commemoration known as – Taps,” The lights-out” signal to soldiers at night, date back to the American Civil War.
In July 1862, U.S. General Daniel Butterfield and his brigade were camped at Harrison’s Landing, Virginia, recuperating after the Seven Days Battles near Richmond. Dissatisfied with the standard bugle call employed by the Army to indicate to troops it was time to go to sleep, and thinking the call should sound more melodious, Butterfield reworked an existing bugle call used to signal the end of the day. After he had his brigade bugler, Private Oliver Wilcox Norton, play it for the men, buglers from other units became interested in the 24-note tune and it quickly spread throughout the Army, and even caught on with the Confederates.
India commemorates Remembrance Day annually on November 11. On this day, the Allied powers signed a ceasefire agreement with Germany at Rethondes, France, at 11:00 a.m. on November 11, 1918, thus bringing the World War I to an end. Since that time many of the places then colonized by Great Britain commemorate Remembrance Day.
This Memorial Day, IAGB joins millions of Americans in horning the memory of fallen!
Nidhi exclaimed, “I felt…as if I was in heaven! The magical beauty of Leh-Ladakh will beckon you year after year and will leave you still wanting more!” Her words left me with sudden fascination towards this rustic and heavenly beautiful travel destination Leh. That’s all I needed to know, and I knew Leh will be an incredible vacation destination!
I was so eager to go that I went straight to my husband and said to him that our next vacation will be Leh, Ladakh. He was amused by my suggestion!
The best time to visit Leh is June to September. It’s very cold in the winter months. So we decided that June will be the most appropriate time. We carefully planned our itinerary and were so excited for this new adventure. Both me and my husband are trekkers at heart and enjoy trying out new adventurous destinations. This time with two young children it seemed slightly challenging, but who could stop us!!
We planned our 5-day long trip to Leh and trust me it was one of the beautiful and appropriate time to visit the place. We already had heard a lot about the beauty of Leh and our expectations were quite high, so we were all set to depart for Leh.
After we reached Leh, the feeling was one of its own kind. The airport was surrounded by mountains and we seemed like we were walking on clouds. There are some things which cannot be put in words, love is one of them and then there is Ladakh- the land of scenic beauty, rustic charm and nature at its best. Nevertheless, I will try to pen down my experience of Ladakh as best as I can, trying hard not to lose myself in those brilliant moments spent in the lap of the majestic Himalayas.
Leh & Ladakh, situated amidst the Great Himalayas and the Karakoram ranges in the scenic state of Jammu and Kashmir, are two of the most spectacular places in the world where scores of tourists from across the globe throng annually.
Once you reach Leh, it is advised to take rest for some time, as this will help your body to acclimatize to the climatic conditions. There is a relative lack of oxygen in this place being 3000 meters above sea level. Even though the magnetic beauty of this place will not let you rest. The only possible way out for all the curious and impatient people like me, who can’t resist themselves from exploring the place is that they check out some local attractions or can visit the local Leh market which I did, while my family rested in the hotel. The hotel staff were warm and so welcoming, they cooked us delicious home cooked delicacies at the lunch buffet.
Cellphones don’t work here and you will be glad they don’t! After acclimatizing ourselves with the place it was time to explore and discover the hidden gems of Leh which everyone talks about.
Our first stop was the Hall of Fame Museum. The splendid museum built by the Indian army, is definitely worth a visit. One section of the museum holds the immense memorabilia of the Kargil war. There were biographies of eminent defense personalities, weapons used in the war and enemy soldiers’ various belongings found at the war site. The other section of the museum was dedicated to Siachen war and its heroes, discover the attires, daily instruments and multi layered shoes of the soldiers kept on display.
Later in the day we stopped by few monasteries and the Shanti Stupa, an imposing, white-domed sacred shrine positioned on a hilltop at Changspa, was built by a Japanese Buddhist organization to honor 2500 years of Buddhism. Atop we enjoyed the stunning panoramic views of sunset at the Himalayas.
After a long tiring day, we spent the night listening to melodious Ladakhi (native Ladakh language) songs sung by our hotel staff.
Next day, early morning, we started for Nubra valley and the climate was just perfect. Just gazing at the mountains and admiring their beauty makes you feel so satisfied. The route to Nubra valley was extremely picturesque and mind blowing, however there were many steep curves and sharp turns that made us feel giddy.
We crossed Khardungala pass, which happens to be the highest motor-able pass in the world, nestled at an altitude of about slightly more than 18000 feet. The pass turns out to be a meeting place of almost all the bikers. Atop the journey we saw the confluence of the Indus and the Zanskar rivers, which is a rare sight. One can clearly differentiate between the two waters from a distance.
As we completed driving up to Khardungla, my son felt very nauseous. We had rented a tent at the Pangong Tso Lake. It got very cold at nighttime so the local people suggested we keep hot water bags on our feet to keep them warm. The night at the tent was fun and adventurous. In the morning we had a nice time over cups of chai (tea), Maggi, the favorite noodles on the roadside camps where we chatted with good-hearted people.
After returning from the lake, the altitude sickness drastically reduced, and we felt much better.
The Magnetic hill was our last spot to visit. The hill has powerful magnetic properties that pulls cars uphill and forces aircrafts to increase their altitude to avoid magnetic interference It is actually an optical illusion caused by particular layout of the hills that makes a very little downhill slope to appear as uphill slope. Our car was literally driving itself towards the hill. The magnetic properties was pulling it towards itself.
To sum it all, our experience of Leh was an experience of a lifetime. It is not a very sought after destination but if you happen to end up there you will definitely find that as the best decision of your life.
Estate Planning Workshop
Brought to you by IAGB in collaboration with South Asian Bar Association of Greater Boston(SABA-GB)
Join us for an educational session on Estate Planning, presented by well-known Estate Planning Attorneys/Advisors. Learn the process of designating who will receive your assets and handle your responsibilities during these uncertain times. Learn about estate tax/inheritance tax implications. This session is specially tailored for Indian American community with assets/properties and families/friends both in India and the US.
High level Topics:
* What is an estate plan and why is it needed? * Wills/Trusts * Assets/Properties in India and the US * Support family members/friends and charities both in India and the US
* Healthcare/Financial powers of attorney
* How to get started on the Estate planning?
If you have any questions to the presenters/attorneys, please submit your questions here : Estate Planning
To increase autism acceptance in our community, I spoke with some mothers of neurodivergent children to bring to you their stories: their journeys, their joys, their sorrows and their struggles of raising a child on the spectrum.
I am sincerely thankful to Anuradha Palakurthi, Poppy Charnalia, Meghashree Das and Mamata Nanda for their time and candid responses.
Here are excerpts from my conversation with them.
Yogita: What are some of the most challenging aspects of being a parent of a child on the autistic spectrum?
The first thing was acceptance for almost everyone. Even when they suspected their child was different, the formal diagnosis was the hardest part. The next step is the complete reappraisal of what is important in life. And one of biggest concerns is planning for the future of the child, and the daunting thought of what will happen after the parents? Suddenly the unpredictability of everything weighs you down. Poppy says that it took her years to move out of the depression and grief she experienced, but she helped herself with better food, music, art, running and above all the love of her family.
Yogita: What is your proudest or the happiest moment in raising your child?
One of the moms said that when their son learned how to ride a bicycle without training wheels, all in a day, and went around the neighborhood by himself and returned smiling was the happiest moment for her.
Yogita: What has been the most rewarding aspect?
Anuradha says that the way having a sibling on the spectrum changed her other children was priceless. She sees them have greater empathy, and becoming better humans and leaders in life. Poppy says that seeing her innocent and lovable son taught her that life has to be lived fully, to make happiness a habit, not wasting time on getting upset and loving your child unconditionally is pure bliss, and only the fortunate can understand and experience that.
Yogita: Tell us about the most underrated experience that parents of a neurotypical child cannot relate to?
“As parents of special needs kid, we understand that rules, social or otherwise, schedules etc. don’t matter. The world has to become more accommodating for children on the spectrum. For starters, I would love if people wouldn’t stare at my son because he always blocks his ears!” says Poppy. Finding a babysitter is a mammoth of a task. Adults are programmed to see children behave in a certain way, and anything different doesn’t go down well with them. Another mother said that for a parent of a neurotypical kid, the child doing something on their own is not a big deal but for me it is something to be giddy about. Megha in her words told me “Like holding his pencil, brushing his teeth, potty training, and such achievements and accomplishments gave me and my husband so much joy, we know cannot take anything for granted.”
Yogita: How has being a special needs parent changed your perspective towards the world?
One mother said that she was a bit old-schooled and did not realize just how much one’s mental and emotional stability has an impact on their physical being until her child came in her life. Another mom Mamata said that she now realizes that being kind, empathetic, helpful and nonjudgmental are the most important qualities any human being should possess. Megha said that she now sees herself helping other parents like her. She feels she has a purpose to her life. She and her husband have made it a point to be healthier, and all their actions have an intent.
Yogita: What are your thoughts on how autism is portrayed in the media? And the impact of that?
All mothers agreed that the media is mostly very supportive. Anuradha says “the positive news is that as humans, we have become more open and understanding.” “Autism is now being spoken about in a better light. It’s a lifelong challenge so saying that it can be cured is not always the right approach. The brain of a person on the autism spectrum is just differently wired. Some great artists and scientist were on the spectrum. Those brains gave incredible gifts to humankind. In fact, I think all creative people are somewhere on the spectrum, that’s why they Create and don’t follow what’s already been done,” Poppy chimed in.
Yogita: Where have you found support?
All the women concurred that their families and some close friends have been their biggest support system. Mamata says that meeting families with special needs children has been the most uplifting and positive thing for her. Anuradha says that Prashanth has been her absolute rock at every stage of this journey. Poppy added that the school has been incredibly supportive, and that they have achieved so much by partnering with them in all developmental areas.
Yogita: Share your experience with the school system
All three mothers, Anuradha, Poppy and Mamata, agreed that the school system has been excellent. They are very pleased with the attention, commitment, knowledge, support, services and compassion they receive from the teachers. Poppy says that her respect towards teachers is tremendous and they have achieved what doctors couldn’t for her son: a space where not only her son but they also feel comfortable, understood and welcome; and their suggestions and ideas are heard.
Yogita: What advice would you give for nurturing a marriage when you have a special needs child?
All the women said that it is key for the couple to make time for themselves, to plan their life more, to focus on what is more important and to accept the restrictions that a couple with neurotypical child may not have. The basis of the marriage is love and as long as that is there, nothing will change. “It is our child. It is our responsibility. We don’t get to choose all events and all people we want to be with. Accept that. And share the outcomes as best as we can,” said Anuradha. Poppy focussed on the importance of being equal partners with her husband, and continue the journey through laughter when things seem to get tough. She added, “take turns to do things, give each other breathing space. I call it strategic parenting not reactive.” Mamata added that it is key to help and support each other constantly. Megha says one of the vital things to keep in mind is to not play the blame game, it won’t do anyone any good.
Yogita: In your opinion and experience, what is the biggest misconception people have about autism?
“That it is fixed. It is not. It is a spectrum. Most individuals on it are very, very intelligent. It has little to do with IQ,” said Anuradha. Another mother I spoke to agrees with this and added that we all need to remember that just like no two neurotypical people are same, no two children on the spectrum are same. Poppy wants people to know that the assumption that children on the spectrum are violent is completely incorrect. Mamata added that autism is not a disease, it is a lifelong condition.
Megha says that the society needs to understand that not all autistic children are going to be like Einstein. She wants people to know that a child on the spectrum can play if given time and the right environment, you just need to work with them. She wants to remind people that having an autistic child has nothing to do with living in the US. And she wants to urge people to stop believing that everything will be “normal” eventually.
Yogita: What are some of the things that people don’t realize is offensive or inappropriate but has personally affected/hurt you?
Pity and facile counsel are the biggest ones as per Anuradha. She understands that usually it is well-intentioned, and thus doesn’t affect her but wants people to realize that parents know what they are dealing with and aren’t looking for counsel from non-specialists. Another mother said the same and wants people to know that in most cases she has already tried the advice that others are giving and often it hasn’t worked out for her child.
Yogita: Do you feel socially isolated and if so, how do you combat that?
Different mothers had a different say on this. While some do feel socially isolated and to combat they have to choose their friends wisely, others had found a solid support system in their friends from before.
Yogita: What do you wish you could tell others, but don’t usually get the chance?
“Just leave space to an autistic child. Don’t crowd them – even in well intentioned. Always acknowledge their presence by saying a hello or any greeting. You’re lucky if you get a reply.”
“A parent whose child has any cognitive or other challenge has a different perception of what pain is and what joy is. You learn to live life deeply and meaningfully. Rules, rigidity of any process, schedules, social structures, social hierarchies, social facades – they all simply cease to have any meaning.”
“There are good days and bad days. Do not let the bad days get heavy on you. Even if it might not feel like it, remember in that moment you are doing the best you can for your child. Do not blame yourself.”
“I wish I can tell people to give nonjudgmental acceptance to my family all the time, every time.”
Yogita: How can medical care providers be most supportive of special needs parents?
“By giving a comfortable environment, seeing patients as per their appointments with no wait time, listening first and then diagnosing and starting the treatment promptly. Also giving parents some counseling service will be very helpful.”
“I want to tell doctors that they are not always right. I know my child much better than any doctor. I am also more motivated than any primary care doctor to follow research being conducted worldwide in this field. They have to partner with parents in treatment strategies and not follow rules and methods that work with neuro-typical kids. Please look at my child’s health and behavior holistically.”
Yogita: What can the community do to support a family of a special needs child?
Poppy wants to remind everyone that a family with a special needs child is constantly on alert for the safety of their child, constantly parenting with no vacations or breaks. Please be kind to and accommodating of them. Remember rules and schedules don’t work in our family.
Anuradha wants you to be just yourself.
Another mother wishes that there be more accommodations for her child in public places. In addition, there should be more subsidies, better health insurance plans for the family and life insurance policies supported by the government where the direct beneficiary is the child. And please don’t stare at my child in public.
Mamata and Megha both said that they wish the community would just be more accepting of their child, and treat them like you would treat any other child.
Megha wants to remind you that she and her husband like to be treated as individuals, and not always the parents of an autistic child. And if you really want to do something, then please invite me or cook for me or just come with me to the playground. I crave for normal social interaction just like you. Just remember that “HEARING ABOUT AUTISM, READING ABOUT AUTISM AND LIVING WITH AUTISM IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT.”
A couple Saturdays ago, in April of this year, I participated in a town-wide Earth Day cleanup and spent 3 hours cleaning the streets. Every year, our town distributes bright yellow trash bags out to volunteers, who help with the litter cleaning efforts. It wasn’t shocking to see the amount of trash strewn about on the side of the road, but it was eye-opening. There were alcohol bottles of all sizes, beer cans that were sometimes nearly full, plastic water bottles, unopened Gatorades and Snapple teas, discarded styrofoam cups, empty coffee containers, plastic bags, used masks, tobacco tins, vapes, countless cigarettes, and much more. However, it was also heartening to see the number of people all over town who volunteered their time to help clean. As we were picking up the trash, one family driving by the street pulled up by our group and asked us about what steps they could take to participate as well. It was a community effort and a stark reminder about what typically happens to the trash that lines our street: it sits there almost permanently, acting as a serious health hazard to plants and animals. If it is blown into water bodies by the wind, it can also affect marine life and pollute our waterways. Cigarette butts and e-cigarettes in particular contain toxic chemicals that we don’t want to be contaminating our water sources or the water bodies where the fish we eat live. During the pandemic, I’ve noticed an increase in the number of people taking walks as they continue to work from home. If you are one who takes frequent walks outside to enjoy nature and fresh air, especially now that the weather has gotten better, then I encourage you to join us in our Earth Day efforts, grab a trash bag and gloves, pick up some of the litter you spot on your walk, and help make your community a cleaner and healthier place too!
IAGB Youth of the Month
Ananthan Sadagopan is an academically driven senior at Westborough High School in Massachusetts who will be attending the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the fall. Following success at local and national exams, where he outscored nearly 16,000 students from more than 1,300 high schools across the United States, he was one of 20 students selected for the intensive two-week United States National Chemistry Olympiad training camp. After placing within the top four students in the training camp, he was selected to the United States International Chemistry Olympiad (IChO), where he represented the US team. He then competed against the top four students from 60 different countries and placed within the top 10%, earning a gold medal. Ananthan has also completed impressive research work and has authored and co-authored seven peer-reviewed scientific publications. He is most proud of his contributions to a project at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute that studied the genomic characterization of a rare, aggressive type of kidney cancer called translocation renal cell carcinoma. The work (a reprint of which can be found here https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.04.14.439908v1) is expected to guide the development of new therapeutic strategies to combat the cancer. Within his high school, Ananthan is also the president and founder of his school’s debate team and was a successful debater on the National Circuit, qualifying to the Tournament of Champions. In his free time, he enjoys playing tennis, basketball, and mridangam. IAGB congratulates Ananthan Sadagopan on being the April 2021 Youth of the Month.
IAGB Youth Art and Music Spotlight
This month’s Art and Music spotlight is avid event photographer and former IAGB volunteer Neil Pandit, a graduate of Burlington High School. Neil enjoys giving back to the community by working in a volunteer photographer capacity, and when he was in middle school, he began photographing events at a therapeutic equestrian facility that provides equine-assisted therapy to children with disabilities and veterans of wars. His photographs from these events won the Boston Globe Scholastic Award. Currently, he is a sophomore at Washington & Jefferson College, where he was accepted into the prestigious Temple Medical Scholars combined BA/MD program, studying neuroscience and conflict resolution studies on the pre health track. Recently, Neil has also been elected Speaker of his college’s Student Government Association. At college, Neil continues his photography pursuits, helping his school with outreach to prospective students. He says, “Photography is not just capturing a moment, but capturing the emotions that make an experience special.”
IAGB youth opportunities
Parents, please do consider highlighting the following opportunities to your children!
Editorial Club:
Who: 7th to 10th grade (but open to others who may be interested as well)
Parents, do consider asking your child if they are interested in participating in the Editorial Club! This summer group, run by the high school students of the Metrowest branch of the Alliance of Youth Leaders in the United States (AYLUS), was created to promote critical thinking and strong writing skills.
Through 5 sessions, each an hour in length, the club will discuss and analyze op-ed articles on a variety of topics (history, science, literature, etc.). For the younger students, working on developing these analysis skills is one of the best ways to begin preparing for their SATs and ACTs, and they are also useful for many humanities and science-based careers! Supplementary webinars focusing on specific themes may also be offered.
It starts on June 18th, and you can sign your child up by filling out the form linked above. Please email [email protected] with any questions.
Iridium Tutoring:
Who: 10th grade and up
When: Any point throughout the year
Iridium Tutoring is a nonprofit tutoring program created by students that offers free one-on-one tutoring for K-12 students. This nonprofit helps address the educational inequalities caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. Using the link below, you can find instructions on how to get a tutor or to begin volunteering as a tutor.
Filling up my cup relates to creating a white space for oneself to do what one feels important and excited about. The last many months have posed innumerable challenges to every one of us, personally and professionally. Several blogs have come out from many, and a recent study by Mintel points to a lot more at-home personal routines for physical and mental well-being.
To me, “filling my cup” means stopping to think about myself and taking care of my physical and mental needs. It starts by differentiating what I need to do from I love to do and create a balance of activities between the two. I would like to walk you through a personal journey in the last 16 months that has had me going well amidst several challenges.
Chance or choice – As many of you know, IAGB collaborated with NIMHANS, Bengaluru and started offering the Yoga for well-being series. I am a dancer and do what is needed as a warmup before my classes and performances. But I never paid particular attention to pranayama as I thought it was complicated. As luck would have it, I got the opportunity to host the zoom sessions, every morning, 5 days a week for the first 6 months and later on, one week a month learning lesson. I never knew what to expect when we started but was sure that I wanted to be of some help/serve. In that process of helping ever so many people join from all over, barring time zones benefit from the sessions, I served myself as well!
I have another friend, who serves another non-profit with me and she picked up on making concert flyers as we were short of people. Now, after many months, her weekly flyer is so popular and has made her a designer with finesse~.
One of my elderly family members is doing a virtual pilgrimage to all the temples in India that he wanted to visit and has created interesting blogs on his observations.
If chance was one factor in the above cases, earnestness coming out of understanding one’s core value was another important factor. To understand one’s core value forms the foundation that helps us formulate the basis of our choices, improve our contentment chart and help guide our choices in the right direction. I selected – serving to the best of my ability, dependability and stretch my comfort zone as the 3 top values.
My favorite quote is, “It is not enough to be busy… The question is; what are we busy about?” – Henry David Thoreau
As many of us know, to remain refreshed, healthy, kind and alert, these 4 quadrants are essential in a day.
Physical – Yoga (active exercises), continue to teach dance virtually 5 days a week, at least 7 hours of sleep, and plenty of water.
Emotional – Declutter my room/work area, writing a journal, write and practice positive affirmation, have a word with friends as needed, reach out to long term friends and enquire about their well ness, help a couple of elderly couple with their needs and participate in service activities when and wherever possible.
Mental – solve a crossword puzzle/Sudoku, practice music/dance, choreograph several new dance pieces just for the fun of it, and listen to podcasts.
Spiritual – learning to chant simple verses, read a devotional hymn as a general prayer for well-being of people other than me or my immediate family, sing or listen to bhajans.
Having a buddy or a couple of buddies with similar values helps us keep on track, discuss “spills’ and how to avoid the same! Practice and discipline are key to any undertaking and our buddies help us keep both in check!
One of my spiritual masters says “hydration, oxygenation, meditation, inspiration and affirmation” as keys to personal wellbeing.
Let us find our core values, make our contentment chart go up and look within for guidance on the right choices for our well-being, shall we?
As I began to write about our life, mine, my son’s, our family’s it turned out to be about more than just us. It became a story of everyone around us and about the community we live in.
Today I want to talk about the families who won’t be in a party you go to, or won’t ride a bike in the park with you or enjoy the new movie in the theatre or go for exotic vacations or won’t have a most happening life on social media, they may not be able to try gourmet food or lead a most exciting life. I want to talk about families who want to give their children the best of the world, whose life is running from one therapy session to another, looking for a better specialist, finding the right therapist, cooking those 5 things their child will eat day after day, their life revolving around cleaning after their child’s meal and managing a day without a meltdown.
And I tell you – they love their kid just as much as any other parent.
This newsletter is for the month of April for you but for many of us this is Autism Awareness Month. In a way, these families with special needs children live their lives everyday but seldom get a chance to talk about it. I am grateful for this opportunity to show you a glimpse of that world.
My name is Jaya Pandey and I live in Franklin, MA with 3 men in my life. They are a joy and my strength who I cherish, who push me to aspire to be a better version of myself. When Anand was young we didn’t have a clue that his brain works differently. He wasn’t a talker and it didn’t bother us much as his brother spoke late and when he did he made up for those years. Anand started to read when he was 4 years old and could tell us about everything he read. Now I know it was his logical mind and memory working. It was his preschool teacher who noticed his lack of social interactions.
Our speech and language delay journey began when he was 4 years plus and then Autism entered our life as a label when Anand was 7 plus.
Fast forward a decade, I started building a community for Desi Moms with special needs children and it has been one of the most gratifying experiences of my life. In the last couple of years I have built this community, brought moms together and initiated various groups, organized family picnics , have done over 25 family photoshoots and now made this community Global. If you know anyone who has a child with special needs please have them reach out to me to be a part of this village and make it their own.
Today I want to talk about what you could do to support these families around you. First of all, please let the families know that you care for them and want to do whatever you can to support them. Every family has different needs so always ask but please be genuine and don’t reach out to them for “Social media posts, photo opportunity or to feel good.” Do it only if you really want to be there for them. Make the kids a part of your life, invite them, ask them what works for them, just be there to listen sometimes, cook them a meal and more than anything teach your child to be kind and empathetic. Instead of asking them to come to your home ask if they prefer to watch a movie in their home, take out with movie might work just fine.
Don’t stop inviting them because they have been declining your invitation, always ask and when they decline yet again say it’s okay, maybe next time. If you need a dog or cat sitter check with them first if their child would like to try. The kids crave social gatherings so invite them for a small get together. More than anything teach your children to be kind and good human beings.
This April, let us try to build a better world for our beautiful children with special needs.
Jaya Pandey is a mom, community builder and story teller. she uses Sarees as a medium to talk about social causes, disability and life as an immigrant woman and a Special Needs child’s mother. She is very involved in the Indian community in MA and has been working on raising awareness about special needs and Autism. You can reach Jaya at [email protected].