December 2024
Domestic violence – Breaking the Silence
Domestic violence – Breaking the Silence
By Lopa Jhamb, Licensed Sr. DV Advocate – Saheli Boston
Domestic violence (DV) within South Asian families is a deeply rooted issue, often exacerbated by cultural stigma, societal expectations, and the challenges of navigating life in a foreign country. As a domestic violence advocate at Saheli, I have witnessed countless stories of resilience, courage, and hope. Survivors often share their struggles and their triumphs, making it clear that the first step—breaking the silence—is the hardest but also the most transformative, says Lopa Jhamb, Sr. DV advocate at Saheli since 2020.
Breaking the Silence – HOW?
Imagine a young woman, hesitant and fearful, picking up the phone to call Saheli for the first time. For South Asian women, breaking the silence about abuse feels like standing on the edge of a cliff. Cultural values, such as preserving family honor or avoiding judgment from the community, weigh heavily on their shoulders. At Saheli, we assure them from the very beginning that all our services are confidential and free of charge. Survivors are informed of this as soon as they connect with us, giving them the reassurance they need to take the next step.
Each story begins with trust. When a survivor shares her experience, she is not only seeking help but also taking a leap of faith. It’s a monumental step in a journey toward safety and healing—and Saheli Boston is honored to walk with her.
Navigating Life in a Foreign Country
For many survivors, the trauma of abuse is compounded by the challenges of navigating an unfamiliar system in a foreign country. They must rebuild their lives while grappling with questions that seem overwhelming: How do I protect myself and my children? What legal rights do I have? How will I support my family financially? The unknowns can feel paralyzing, but that’s when Saheli’s advocates step in.
Tailored Support for Survivors
Saheli’s organizational approach is personal and compassionate. They start by understanding each survivor’s unique circumstances, then offer tailored assistance to meet their specific needs. Here’s how they help:
- Legal Assistance: Saheli guides survivors through the legal process, helping them obtain restraining orders, file for divorce, secure child custody, and establish child support. They provide immigration assistance, including applications for U visas and VAWA petitions. They assist in creating profiles with the Department of Revenue to ensure seamless child support payments.
- Mental Health Support: Saheli connects survivors with culturally sensitive therapists for one-on-one sessions and encourage them to join support groups. These avenues provide emotional healing and a sense of community.
- Access to Public Benefits: Many survivors don’t know where to begin when it comes to securing benefits. Saheli assists with applications for SNAP (food stamps), MassHealth, WIC for infants and toddlers, and other essential programs.
- Economic Empowerment: Saheli empowers survivors to become financially independent by helping them build resumes, apply for jobs, and gain essential skills.
- Housing Assistance: Whether it’s rent assistance, placement in shelters, or transitional homes, we help survivors find safe and stable housing.
- Tax Clinics: Saheli offers free tax clinics to assist low-income survivors with filing their taxes, providing them with financial clarity and security.
- The Path to Healing: Healing is not linear, nor is it quick. Survivors often describe it as a journey filled with setbacks and small victories. Saheli emphasizes patience, self-care, and community support. Their advocates walk alongside survivors, helping them navigate their emotions and practical challenges as they work toward a brighter future for themselves and their children.
Article by Lopa Jhamb
12/20/2024
Foot Note from IAGB:
IAGB stands tall against this menace and urges the community for its Call to Action
Domestic violence is not just a personal issue but a community one. By breaking the silence and addressing the trauma survivors face, we foster a culture of support, understanding, and resilience. Together, we can ensure that survivors feel seen, heard, and valued.
Let us continue to stand united against domestic violence in South Asian families, creating a future where no survivor must face abuse or its aftermath alone. Let us join hands to witness the emergence of a new generation of Indian women, driven by education, economic empowerment, and a determination to challenge societal norms.
Through trials hard and battles deep, in silence, women, you have dared to speak.
The world may turn, yet with you stand, together strong, hand in hand.
Mission Shakti – Call for Equity & Justice!
Community Spotlight
Community Spotlight: Dr. Sonali Khond
Dr. Sonali Khond, MD, is a dedicated internist with over 20 years of experience serving the South Shore area. She also serves as the President of the Indian Medical Association of New England (IMANE), a non-profit organization. Dr. Khond has been part of the Executive Committee since 2019 and has played an active role in IMANE’s initiatives over the past few years.
Under her leadership, IMANE partnered with local non-profits like IAGB to provide free blood pressure and blood sugar screenings, offering essential health services to the community. She was instrumental in launching a formal volunteer program for high school students, encouraging youth participation in healthcare outreach. IMANE also hosted a Continuing Medical Education (CME) event, furthering professional development for healthcare providers.
With physician burnout on the rise, it’s important to engage in more social activities to promote wellness and connection within the community. Dr. Khond organized the IMANE cultural event, a way for members to come together, celebrate their heritage, and offer physicians a much-needed break from the pressures of practice.
As IMANE President, she has guided the organization in expanding its charitable work, supporting local non-profits, including IAGB. Her leadership extended beyond healthcare, helping strengthen IMANE’s presence in the community.
In 2024, Dr. Khond was crowned Mrs. Elite by Miss New England, a pageant organization. She was honored with the Inspiring Healthcare Award by Breathing Secrets, a non-profit organization, recognizing her outstanding contributions to healthcare and community service.
Beyond her professional achievements, Dr. Khond enjoys dancing, traveling, and actively participating in community events, reflecting her multifaceted approach to life and service. She remains committed to serving her community and inspiring her peers, with a continued focus on making a lasting impact on healthcare and beyond.
IAGB has always had a strong bond with IMANE in serving the community together, supporting and pledging for each other. IAGB celebrates Dr. Sonali Khond for her commitment to promote healthy lifestyle, forming partnerships with local organizations for community health activities, fostering social connections & networking, addressing physician burnout, showcasing talents through cultural events.
“In her successful term as the President of IMANE, Sonali has represented the ethos of IMANE with utmost competency and diligence. She is one person who is warm, friendly, conscientious, committed and easy to work with. I wish my dear Sonali, the very best in all new endeavors she takes on from here on”, says IAGB President Tanu Phoenix.
Community Conversations
Sushila Singh:
I live in Carlisle, a small town in Massachusetts, population of about 5200 residents. I have been living here for the past 10 years. When I first moved in I was looking for Indian families to celebrate Diwali. It started with sending email to 5 families but ended up 35 families responding. As a result I, with the help of two of my friends, rented a hall in a restaurant and had a big celebration. The tradition continues for 10 years and now we are planning to include everyone in the town to make it bigger.
Shweta and Santosh Salvi:
Volunteering: A Joyful Journey
During November 2020, as the NEMM presidency term was nearing its end, my life partner, Sandhya/Shweta, and I decided to sponsor a dinner at the Nashua Soup Kitchen (NSK) to celebrate Diwali. We not only sponsored dinner on a Friday but also took part in serving the meals. This experience was so fulfilling that we decided to sponsor another dinner during the Christmas holidays.
Our joy in this endeavor inspired us to share our experiences with family and friends. In doing so, we discovered that 10-12 families were also interested in supporting the community by preparing and serving dinners at NSK.
In the first week of January 2021, we approached NSK, and they graciously allowed us to prepare and serve dinner every Thursday. Over the past four years, we have collectively served over 20,000+ dinners to 100-120 homeless Nashua residents. Our project has grown to include 48+ families, divided into four groups led by Santosh Salvi, Meenakshi Shinde, Radha Phadke, and Rajeev Agarwal. This way, each group serves once a month, and each volunteer will contribute/cook/serve once in a month. Our volunteer families are highly motivated and fulfill their commitments without any reminders, coordinating purely through text messages.
Most of our volunteer families live in the Maplewood community, so we have named our group the “Maplewood Volunteer Group.”
Meenal Dayma:
My resolutions for 2025 towards my community are to continue to teach at Shishubharti. Educate children to develop a sense of well-informed cultural pride by introducing them to Indian arts, customs, languages, religion, history, geography, and current events, one hour every Sunday.
Organize activities such as cultural performances, arts and crafts exhibition with the students.
Since last 14 years, I have been exploring the hidden talents in the children and promoting them. It has been a cherishing and learning experience of mentoring more than 150 children.
Manjiri Patil:
The New Year is always an inspiring time. As part of your New Year’s resolutions, I want to give back to our community.
Dignity Matters is a Massachusetts-based non-profit organization dedicated to addressing period poverty by providing free menstrual products. I have been volunteering at their warehouse to help with product distribution. Also involved with organizing a collection in neighborhood, friends and families.
Another initiative is the monthly donation for Worcester homeless Shelter. We work as a group to donate homemade food and fruits to homeless shelters.
While the donation of food or items is always appreciated, a financial donation can also provide a charity or cause. Me along with three other friends are doing yearly fundraisers to donate money to India (Pune) based charity named Snehwan which takes responsibility for the education, rehabilitation of the underprivileged children of the farmers.
There are countless ways you can make true your new year’s resolutions to give back to the community this year. Consider creating an impact on society by donating or doing something for a good cause.
Events Recap
Salute to Service 2024 Parade (Veteran’s Day Parade 2024)
Following our annual tradition of remembering and honoring our brave soldiers and veterans, Team IAGB walked besides many other local organizations at the Salute to Service 2024 Parade in Boston this past Saturday. The chilly, windy day, didn’t deter Team IAGB and several other community groups & organizations from walking the parade commemorating, celebrating the contribution of all veterans and their families.
THANK YOU, VETERANS, FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO FOR THE COUNTRY AND OUR FREEDOM!
Shishu Bharati Diwali Mela
On Nov 17th, everyone, including students, teachers, and volunteers, and community leaders from all across New England were part of this very special occasion where all 3 Shishu Bharati locations – Walpole, Nashua, and Lexington, came together in festivity, celebrating Indian Culture.
Thank you Seshi Sompuram, for inviting IAGB to be part of this wonderful Diwali Mela!
ICON Diwali Cultural Event
Here’s a warm note of THANKS, to the ICON (Indian Community of Needham), Dr. Raja Sheikh and his fantastic team for honoring me as the Chief Guest at their annual Diwali Cultural event, and for their warm & gracious hospitality extended to me and my officers Vice President Nilesh Agrawal and Treasurer Deepak Garg.
I continue to feel honored and blessed to have addressed the bright Indian American community of Needham and Dedham as the President of India Association of Greater Boston, IAGB.
We are at an evolving juncture within and beyond the community. People apart, countries apart – hate & violence creating agony and heartaches. I pledge to spread LOVE by continuing with my approach of “Aspire, Attempt & Achieve” to see IAGB work together as a diverse Community wherein we act responsibly, reliably, and efficiently, respect the community and beyond, embrace differences or conflict of opinions with empathy and understanding, hold each other with love while encouraging and soliciting open communication among and between each other.
Your poised meet & greet, your heartwarming stage felicitations given to us, your enthusiastic and unique performance items, the delectable food, the warm ‘chai’, the freshly made “Gajar ka Halwa” and the nostalgic “Chitrahaar” were treats to remember!
Thank you for relating to IAGB’s commitment in upholding our community as a place where our fellow community members can enjoy superior quality of civic, socio-cultural, educational and community service and Pan-India engagements.
Together, let us raise a toast to our commitment in upholding the Indian American community’s interest as its advocate & culture champion.
We value our community deeply and look forward to collaborating and corroborating ever more. Let’s work together to build a stronger community.
Onwards & Upwards,
Yours truly,
Tanu Phoenix, President, IAGB
IMANE Annual Gala 2024
Thank You Sonali Khond, President of IMANE for your bright leadership at IMANE thus far, and for acknowledging IAGB’s work for the community and it’s strong friendship with IMANE. And heartiest congratulations to the President Elect Shikha Merchia for your new, shining leadership!
Community Spotlight
In 2021, Deepika Prakash received the Commonwealth Heroine honor from the State of Massachusetts for her dedicated work in promoting equality and women’s rights. Deepika’s commitment to fostering a supportive community is evident through PatternReview.com, which has grown to over half a million members worldwide. Her articles in sewing magazines, podcast appearances, and co-authorship of “1,000 Clever Sewing Shortcuts & Tips,” with all royalties donated to charity, reflect her passion for sharing knowledge and making a positive impact.
Deepika has been integral in bringing about the proclamation of Diwali to be a holiday in the schools of Acton, Boxboro and Littleton. She worked with students from these schools and the School Committees to achieve this and it took 4 years – which segwayed into “DiwaliFest” – an outdoor local festival featuring our diverse culture and community – featuring student innovation and entrepreneurship, local small businesses and nonprofits along with sharing our art, music, dance, culture and cuisine . This year was the 3rd DiwaliFest which had 3000+ attendees. It is a free event supported by the local schools, town boards and Massachusetts Cultural Council.
There are two things she strongly believes in:
- We are a stronger community if we join in each other’s celebration, regardless of our cultural and religious background.
- If we truly believe in bringing about a positive change, we must empower and encourage youth leadership. And it is these two values which have been the vision behind Diwalifest.
Deepika is passionate about community, inclusivity and youth mentorship.
At DiwaliFest, volunteers encourage youth involvement and invite anyone and everyone to be a part of this celebration. They work tirelessly to find small businesses which will make this festival come alive, thus supporting local business while learning about new and fun things.
Deepika Prakash, founder of PatternReview.com, is a respected figure in the sewing community known for her expertise and contributions. Deepika is passionate about sustainability and educating people on adopting simple life skills to minimize their impact on the planet. This commitment to making a positive difference extends to her active involvement in community service in Acton and Boxborough over the past decade.
Throughout this period, she has spearheaded various programs aimed at bringing people together. Notable examples include organizing World Heritage Day at McT, supporting Girls on the Run through Danny’s Place, and contributing to the vibrant celebration of Diwali through DiwaliFest in Acton and Boxborough. In addition, she has volunteered her time across various local organizations and played a role in supporting the election of individuals in both town and school government.
She lives in Acton with her husband Gagan and daughter – Dia who is a rising 9th Grader at ABRHS.
Note about Deepika from IAGB President Tanu Phoenix:
IAGB salutes Deepika, for the progressive work that she has been doing over the years, aimed at bringing people together, propelling the spirits of building a stronger community regardless of cultural and religious backgrounds. Deepika’s community work and point of view match IAGB’s trajectory of working together towards building a stronger community, and IAGB surely hopes to collaborate with like-minded community leaders like Deepika in the best interest of the community!
Community Conversations
Isha Patel (Teen)
One of my favorite traditions during the holiday season is Friendsgiving. Every November, my friends and I come together to celebrate gratitude, friendship, and enjoy great food. Friendsgiving is very laid-back and personal, and each person brings a dish to share. It’s a wonderful tradition that reminds of how lucky I am to not only have an amazing family, but also to have a circle of friends who feel like family.
Pritha Anand (Teen)
My favourite holiday tradition is celebrating with friends and family. No matter what we are celebrating or where we are meeting, having fun with friends and family is the most amazing part of the holidays. Within my friend groups, it is tradition to meet and have multiple parties for every single event and birthday during the holiday season. We meet for Diwali, thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and all the birthdays in between, having fun and celebrating together. Sometimes we meet just for the sake of having fun together. I love this because it has created a giant community of family and friends that I love and cherish, people I can always rely on to have my back. I think that no matter what is going on in our lives, the tradition of meeting friends and family to have fun regardless of holidays or not is a gift. In a world where technology is making it easier to reach out, yet simultaneously isolating us, I cherish the opportunity to meet my loved ones in person, and make happy memories with them.
Sadhana Kyathppala & Raj Kyathppala
Thanksgiving is my all time favorite holiday, even a little more than Diwali! That it has no religious connotation, no presents or other commercial aspect, and that we all get the 2 days off to make it a 4-day weekend make it the perfect time for family get together. Typically our whole family gathers at our place to reconnect, recap the year we are just completing and bounce ideas for the coming year. The basement is lined up like a youth hostel, with camp cots and sleeping bags in the early days, and air mattresses now. The nephews and niece have young children now and they love doing sleepover with us. With everyone (about 26 including the little kids) being together under the same roof for a few days allows for all sorts of topics to be discussed, and all sorts of opportunities to share interests. This year we even introduced Bollywood movies and dance to the little ones.
In the early days in this country, many in our family did not particularly care for the taste of turkey. So my SIL and I decided to carve out our own tradition. Everyone loved Chinese food, so it felt very appropriate for this large Indian family, to celebrate the American Thanksgiving festival with Chinese food! But when I heard that my nephew “lied” to his kindergarten teacher that he had turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing for Thanksgiving, we felt we needed to really follow the tradition. However, we wanted to use this opportunity to expose our children to our Indian roots as well. Thus began our tradition of the time-honored American items with Turkey and its accompaniments, and the epitome of South Indian festival food – HoLige (Puran Poli) and its accompaniments! This “weird” combination of East and West on the table have sparked so many conversations about our childhoods in India, other Indian festivals and their traditions to the point where next year, we are considering celebrating Thanksgiving in Bangalore so that our families there can also experience this idea of coming together for the sole purpose of togetherness and giving thanks!